halloween 2004 

Coffee Crap and Confusion part 2

Well, I spent the day recounting the moments I spent in the w.c. this morning and wondering why it is that I wrote about it to you, whoever the hell you are. Come to think of it, it makes me wonder why the hell I'm even writing this on here anyway. I came across it through a link sent to me in an e-mail by a friend, about a blog she had started. So, in order to reply to her blog, I had to start a blog of my own. Hence the first post in this here very blog.
Then I came to think, and I made some more posts. This morning just I made a post that followed through on what I am now recognizing as the apparent throughline of this here blog. So I spent the day revisiting [this blog] in my head and trying to figure out how to post a picture of myself in my profile. Eventually, I had to go poo again.
So the througline is seeming to surface from this sea of inane chatter as that of my lower g.i. activity and resultant hallucinatory imaginings. Or for those of you who love Oprah or other such crap oriented daytime network television:
Me and the poo that I've come to love as my own.
Okay, not really, but it IS about the extremes of my bathroom experiences. I feel at this point that it's only fair to warn the reader that has been reading from the bottom, in chronological order as they should have been, that it's probably going to go on like this ...
and then there's me wondering why something like a blog is
a) worth the time
b) so fascinating
c) free to let me talk about this kind of thing
like, okay maaaaan. I just started doing this, but I can't help think, why aren't I just doing it into a real paper notebook. I can just as easily show that to people.
But then I think...well, screw people. If you're reading this, and you have no I dea who I am, please reply and tell me so I can begin to understand why anyone would read someone elses um...blog, just because they found it while searching for "ASSPISS". Which I have recently discovered doesn't only mean what I thought it means, but also means to actually PEE into someones asshole while engaging in intercourse with them. (Assuming of course you are a male with a penis, or in fact a non male that happens to be able to pee in a straight line and has availed themselves of a wide open anus in which to pee.)
Not something I'm likely to either try, or in the event that I did, write about here.
Nope.
THIS SPACE RESERVED HERETOFORE FOR THE DISCUSSION OF THE ACTIVITY OF MY LOWER GI AND ANAL SPHINCTER'S...ahem...ALLOWANCES.

Coffee Crap and Confusion

So today I logged on to this site to see if I'd written anything else in my fairly new blog yet. Then realized that that would be impossible, then realized that it wouldn't given my mind.
So I got up and got me a cup of my coffee, which usually results in what's to be termed coffee magic. Coffee magic, for those hard core coffee drinkers out there already may know, and those others may not, is the feeling quite similar to ass piss that you get when your coffee begins to digest and the caffeine hits your bloodstream then bowels. Turns your lower GI into a blender and forces you running, sometimes holding your asshole closed as tightly as possible, to the can to expell all the coffee you have already drank, leaving behind not only an odd feeling of rejection, but also this caffeine buzz. Hey, at least, like beer, the buzz doesn't go away once the liquid does. I just wish coffee preferred to leave like beer does. Oh well, such is the pangs of existence, non?
Speaking of coffee magic, here comes my personal bout with it for today...
to be continued...

Boy did I ever

POOP BROWN, turning to black with green rings around the collar. POOP, boy did I ever have the ASSPISS event of the DECADE yesterday. Termed as a friend did farfergnugen. The feeling that you don't know which hole in your body is going to erupt next.
Shouldn't have eaten that pulled pork sammich, but I did. God I don't know what was worse...the pain in my stomach or the feeling of fear as I stooped to puke and worried my asshole was going to shoot like a garden hose all over the bathroom wall.
Good thing I've got a great nurse, my girl and lover Jess. She brought me water and pepto.
WHY is pepto that color? I mean, does it HAVE to be that color to work? Give me a dammned break, as if it didn't taste bad enough, the thing is when you hurl after a few shots of it, it brings new meaning to the term technicolor yawn.
BOO!

-Hack

Bloggs Bloggs Bloggs

Bloxx? What is this land we seek? Is there a creative void? It makes me have to void. Maybe that's the coffee. SO, is this the this that I promised myself in the last waking moments of my day yesterday that I would spend my first waking moments today doing? Perhaps. Perhaps it will be cryptic.
Spectacular.
They tell me I can put pictures up. The walls are a bit stark, non?
-Hack