Today..oday..oday... I consider myself.

So I woke up to this sent to me by my estreem college Jen. If anything's gonna get my juices flowing this morning that's totally not it. Grog sets in to my brain watching it and thinking hundreds of things I'll probably never learn the answers to like, are the guys for real? What year was this? Are those girls for real? What country is this? In fact what country isn't it? Are they ABBA? You know, I don't know, and I don't know if I want to know. It's monday and I'm totally NOT feeling any movement in my bowels. So I'll talk about star wars. I want the new star wars to make me crap in my pants in the movie theatre. I want brown squishies swamping up my crack while I try to remain comfortable for the rest of the ride because Vader has loosened my load. I want special effects that are not MIND blowing, but COLON blowing, like that awesome cereal you sometimes see advertised on old SNL.
But the one thing I'm sure I don't want and the one thing that has always made me CLENCH up about the first two episodes has been, of course, Jar Jar. This thing makes me not have to crap for a week. Such bad with the blockage that I'm lying in bed at 3 am and I can feel the baseball sitting right behind home plate and it hurts and I know I wont be able to get it out unless I stick something up there, which I won't go about doing for fear of breaking something. and more pain.
anyway, hope anyone out there who may or may not care about what I've got to say is doing well. such ends this one.