Hazizem poopsach
So I just had my matzoh poo that I've been dreading for two days now. Jess and I went to passover seder at a family friends house. see link about for passover 101 if you want. Thing about passover is is that you can't eat any bread with leavening, so it's matzo matzo matzo, which, although after acquiring a taste is quite enjoyable, actually quite resembles the sides of the box it comes in. Unless you get the onion kind, and that's like putting onion powder on the box and eating it. So we had turkey, and brisket and horseradish and gefilte fish and lots of manischewitz, which is basically alcoholic grape juice.
also there were four Kugels, (like pudding, where the binder is matzoh). And BOY do I mean BINDER. I've felt this lump of dinner sitting in my stomach since yesterday morning. Then Jess's mom feeds us matzoh and eggs for breakfast. It was delicious, but a corrugated breakfast is not my colon's friend. So I tried to have coffee, and eat fruit, and last night I had pulled pork (I'm sure that's back there in line, probably sometime tomorrow, or later tonight after a beer). And all afternoon at work today I felt it. It was PACKED and ready. Except it was TOO packed. It was like I was my own recycling plant trying to turn newspapers into babys diapers. So when I got home I decided I would give it the old heave ho. The old college try. The old ONE TWO as it were, and I created this MONSTERPEICE of black logged crud that had such a stench. I wonder if stench is yiddish. G-d knows my poo was. And it was so kosher. Not that I would serve it for seder mind you.
So to sum up, we had a ball at the seder, singing and laughing and eating, and I had a log when I got home tonight.
also there were four Kugels, (like pudding, where the binder is matzoh). And BOY do I mean BINDER. I've felt this lump of dinner sitting in my stomach since yesterday morning. Then Jess's mom feeds us matzoh and eggs for breakfast. It was delicious, but a corrugated breakfast is not my colon's friend. So I tried to have coffee, and eat fruit, and last night I had pulled pork (I'm sure that's back there in line, probably sometime tomorrow, or later tonight after a beer). And all afternoon at work today I felt it. It was PACKED and ready. Except it was TOO packed. It was like I was my own recycling plant trying to turn newspapers into babys diapers. So when I got home I decided I would give it the old heave ho. The old college try. The old ONE TWO as it were, and I created this MONSTERPEICE of black logged crud that had such a stench. I wonder if stench is yiddish. G-d knows my poo was. And it was so kosher. Not that I would serve it for seder mind you.
So to sum up, we had a ball at the seder, singing and laughing and eating, and I had a log when I got home tonight.
posted by hackimer @ 5:12 PM
2 Comments:
At 12:39 PM,
Anonymous said…
I was asked by my girlfriend a few days ago about Passover, specifically when it was. Being Jewish, it meant that we had no idea. I said to her, "let's find someone we're pretty sure is a religious Jew, and ask him if he wants some matzoh ball soup. If he makes a face of interest, then it isn't Passover. If he looks like he's going to be sick to his stomach, it means it is Passover, because he's so tired of eating it by now, that he couldn't handle it anymore. Matzoh ball soup is food people like in theory, until they actually put it in their mouth. Then you realize it has the texture of wet peanut butter and has no taste. No one actually enjoys it, but since you only have to eat it once a year, you forget how disgusting it is, until it's Passover again."
At 4:53 PM,
Vegas said…
I've had matzoh ball soup that was really good.
It was made by a non-Jew though, so that might have had something to do with it's tastiness.
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