crap! I haven't done this in moths

And I've been totally wrong.
I haven't pooped on this thing in what doctors would say is an inhumanly impossible amount of time to not have pooped. So if this blog was in fact my lower GI, i would be dead. Alas, I'm not dead. I've only been imitating a bear, who goes into hibernation. Which brings me to the poop.
"While hibernating their heart rate, body temperature, and other body functions slow down almost eliminating their need for food and water."
http://www.iwebquest.com/denali/details/grizzly.htm
while the quote says almost eliminating their need for food and water, the word elimitating to me, of course, is a double entendre, meaning, as well as eliminating their need for food, they are also eliminating their need for eliminating. While I in my absence (sp?) of eliminating my need for writing in this blog have not eliminated my need for food and water, therefore have not eliminated my need for pooping and therefore my need for eliminating my need to vent about my need to poop have not altogether eliminated my need to poop, because I have not in fact eliminated my need to eat. In whichever case if at this point in this newest of posts ever so necessary because of the winterly absence (once again sp?) of my posts about my poops I have managed to eliminate the need for you to follow what it is I may actually be posting about, I do forgive you for losing my train of thought. After all this post is about me, and not you and if you can't follow it, I'm sorry, but tought shit. Which brings me to another lame excuse about why i haven't written since last july, or is it august? 7 is july isn't it. Kirk. Kirk Bravender is the reason I haven't written a post.
Now Kirk, Kirk my man. Before you take two steps back from your monitor and go, "WHAT THE HELL IS HACK TALKING ABOUT, I HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD FROM HIM", I must ask you to give me a chance to {expell} explain. Kirk, my man. You love me, and I know that. Jenn, you, my [#2] Fan (no offense, none taken) please understand. Kirk, you love the asspiss.
Part 2 is I have a fear of success. Kirk.
Kirk...my man, my ... [No 1] fan. You're pee.
(I know you hear me laughing).
Jenn, you know what you are.
Kirk, being my number one fan, you have to understand that as my number one fan you are actually my best fan for this site. The problem with this is that I've always had a fear of success. The fact that I have a number one fan on my blog called ass piss that is all about my lower GI makes {made} me feel like I had made it.
What I have come to realise is that to build a fanship, a fandom, a realm of fanatics, if you will, there needs to be anticip.
.
.
.
ation.
You, KIRK. KIRK BRAVENDER, have tought me the length of time it takes to build such ant...well, you know.
So...as you have it, as you have written, and requested, (a while ago, lending to my thesis) here is the first of what is to be a new floodgate of asspiss posts.
Kirk, it's all your fault. anyone reads this and wants kirks contact info, I'm all about it, so let me know.
Love you,
love poop.
Asspiss OUT!